White Winter Hymnal

It was a beautiful night. The slushy snow of the day had been stamped down, so now all Hannah could see when she looked out the window of her first floor dorm room (right next to the entrance) were the ducks playing in the pure white.  While all of her flatmates went out to Top Banana, a popular weekly club night, Hannah stayed in, reading the Scottish epic, Lanark, a novel which will soon be added to her Favorite Books list. It had been a long day of endless running around, going to lectures, and attending meetings for the upcoming Shakespeare submissions meeting.  Lately, she had been doing research for the four plays, scheduling meetings with the directors, and writing little biographical blurbs about herself in the third person. But the day was over now and it was time for Hannah to remember why it was she studied English in the first place: a love of good books. She had the peaceful, easy feeling of someone who is inside on a cold, winter night. It was one in the morning, the heater was making knocking noises, the birds were chirping, Hannah was snuggled up on her bed, and the procession of drunkards began.

Drunken English Girl: THEY'RE MY F***ING KEYS!
English Guy: Oh my god....
Drunken English Girl: I F***ING LIVE HERE, NOT YOU! GIVE ME MY F***ING KEYS!
English Guy: Just look at yourself!
Drunken English Girl: F***K YOU, YOU PRICK! Leave me alone...
English Guy: Just get in the building, you drunken mess.
Drunken English Girl: SHUT THE F*** UP! WHO... WHO... WHO ARE YOU.... TO...
English Guy: Bloody hell, just get in the f***ing building.
Drunken English Girl: DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! I HATE YOU!
English Guy: LOOK AT YOURSELF! AFTER ALL MY FAMILY HAS DONE FOR YOU, AND JUST LOOK AT YOURSELF! YOU'RE A F***ING MESS!
Drunken English Girl: F*** YOU
English Guy: Is this really how you want to end our relationship? A disgusting drunken mess?

The lover's quarrel continued on for the better part of an hour. At one point, Drunken English Girl was locked out of the building by English Guy, who proceeded to yell at her from a window upstairs... a perverted Romeo & Juliet if ever there was one.  Meanwhile, the birds either stopped chirping or were frightened away, the heater had stopped knocking, and Hannah had put her headphones on.