In an aeroplane over the sea....

I figured I needed one more post to wrap everything up.

I’m writing this on the airplane… I’ll post it if I ever land, which I gotta tell you, feels like it’ll be in years. I have that map display up, which says I have 3,219 miles and five and a half hours to go…. Here comes the turbulence. My favorite part of flying.

When I was settling down on the plane before we took off, the man sitting next to me asked me, “Do you live here or are you going home?” and it took me a few seconds to come up with a response. I went for the “going home to Berkeley” reply just because it was simple and fast and I could feel another surge of tears coming. Everyone who goes to university has the whole I-don’t-know-what-home-means crisis and it just gets more extreme when you study abroad. I spent two years in Madison and one year in Warwick and yet England seems like so much more of a home to me than Madison ever has.

This year has been the best year of my life, and it’s all thanks to the amazing friends I’ve made. You guys are the most hilarious, intelligent, generous, loving people I have ever met… I sincerely hope that you all realize how spectacular you are.  I have never felt more connected to a group of people before and I am so lucky to have known you and called you my friends. You’ve really raised the standard of friendship in my life.

Annnnd now I’m sobbing. Holy crap, I’m emotional and I hate airplanes. I’m in the middle seat…. And squished. The guy in front of me keeps opening the window and closing it… as if the view of the clouds will significantly change every five minutes. Now his wife is looking out the window. Who knew that white fluff could be so fascinating? This airplane smells like old people.

I think I’ve changed a lot this year, but I can’t really pinpoint how… I guess I’ll find out when I’m thrown back into my old life.  I feel happier (well not right now), more confident and determined…

I’m coming back to England. It’s not really an option. And even if I don’t get into Warwick, I’ll go to any university and visit my friends all the time. A year just feels like forever… I mean the remainder of this flight feels like forever.

2,890 miles left.

Thanks for reading

Thank you for a fantastic year

Silby Out x

Any minute now, my ship is coming in...

The past few days have been really difficult.... and the next few won't be any better. I've never been very good at saying goodbye, but saying goodbye to my friends here has been one of the most heartbreaking experiences of my life. The only thing getting me through is the thought that I'll hopefully be back in a year..... and that I can skype people.

My boxes have just been taken away, I'm taking down decorations in my room, packing up my last suitcase, and crying intermittently.

Good news: I just went on Virgin Atlantic's website and they have some great movies and TV shows for me to watch to distract me from the fact that I'm 30,000 feet in the air in a metal tube with wings on it. Ten hours.... god that's a long time.... that's about five movies, right? I think I can handle that. Up in the Air, Crazy Heart, Date Night, The Damned United, and maybe some Arrested Development, 30 Rock, and Gavin and Stacey, an English TV show that I have just been introduced to (and which might make me cry if I watch it leaving England).

I feel so bad for whoever will be sitting next to me.... not only because of the usual sweating, shaking and occasional vomiting, but add crying hysterically to that and they might have to throw me off the plane.

I'm off to London tomorrow.... staying with Clare and hopefully catching some theater before I go. A few days in London is a good way to end the year.

One more blog post to come... sorry for the depressing nature of this one.... but the next one probably won't be any happier.