In an aeroplane over the sea....

I figured I needed one more post to wrap everything up.

I’m writing this on the airplane… I’ll post it if I ever land, which I gotta tell you, feels like it’ll be in years. I have that map display up, which says I have 3,219 miles and five and a half hours to go…. Here comes the turbulence. My favorite part of flying.

When I was settling down on the plane before we took off, the man sitting next to me asked me, “Do you live here or are you going home?” and it took me a few seconds to come up with a response. I went for the “going home to Berkeley” reply just because it was simple and fast and I could feel another surge of tears coming. Everyone who goes to university has the whole I-don’t-know-what-home-means crisis and it just gets more extreme when you study abroad. I spent two years in Madison and one year in Warwick and yet England seems like so much more of a home to me than Madison ever has.

This year has been the best year of my life, and it’s all thanks to the amazing friends I’ve made. You guys are the most hilarious, intelligent, generous, loving people I have ever met… I sincerely hope that you all realize how spectacular you are.  I have never felt more connected to a group of people before and I am so lucky to have known you and called you my friends. You’ve really raised the standard of friendship in my life.

Annnnd now I’m sobbing. Holy crap, I’m emotional and I hate airplanes. I’m in the middle seat…. And squished. The guy in front of me keeps opening the window and closing it… as if the view of the clouds will significantly change every five minutes. Now his wife is looking out the window. Who knew that white fluff could be so fascinating? This airplane smells like old people.

I think I’ve changed a lot this year, but I can’t really pinpoint how… I guess I’ll find out when I’m thrown back into my old life.  I feel happier (well not right now), more confident and determined…

I’m coming back to England. It’s not really an option. And even if I don’t get into Warwick, I’ll go to any university and visit my friends all the time. A year just feels like forever… I mean the remainder of this flight feels like forever.

2,890 miles left.

Thanks for reading

Thank you for a fantastic year

Silby Out x

Any minute now, my ship is coming in...

The past few days have been really difficult.... and the next few won't be any better. I've never been very good at saying goodbye, but saying goodbye to my friends here has been one of the most heartbreaking experiences of my life. The only thing getting me through is the thought that I'll hopefully be back in a year..... and that I can skype people.

My boxes have just been taken away, I'm taking down decorations in my room, packing up my last suitcase, and crying intermittently.

Good news: I just went on Virgin Atlantic's website and they have some great movies and TV shows for me to watch to distract me from the fact that I'm 30,000 feet in the air in a metal tube with wings on it. Ten hours.... god that's a long time.... that's about five movies, right? I think I can handle that. Up in the Air, Crazy Heart, Date Night, The Damned United, and maybe some Arrested Development, 30 Rock, and Gavin and Stacey, an English TV show that I have just been introduced to (and which might make me cry if I watch it leaving England).

I feel so bad for whoever will be sitting next to me.... not only because of the usual sweating, shaking and occasional vomiting, but add crying hysterically to that and they might have to throw me off the plane.

I'm off to London tomorrow.... staying with Clare and hopefully catching some theater before I go. A few days in London is a good way to end the year.

One more blog post to come... sorry for the depressing nature of this one.... but the next one probably won't be any happier.

England vs. U.S.A.

Well, this is it, folks. This is what my entire study abroad experience comes down to: tonight's World Cup match, showing at 7:30pm here. The immense showdown. The big kahuna.

I'm just kidding, I couldn't care less.

I don't think I've ever watched a soccer game in full before, and I would be perfectly happy if it stayed that way....

But isn't this such a weird coincidence? Is it just me, or have there been lots of "the special relationship" related events this year? And what exactly is this special relationship? All year I've been trying to piece it out...

It was coined by Churchill (I think?) and has been used by politicians on both sides of the Atlantic ever since. What's interesting to me, however, is the trickle-down effect it has on the relationships between actual people... not saying that politicians aren't people... well, maybe I am.

When I first got here, I thought the relationship was pretty simple. I thought they were all the stereotypically well-spoken and intelligent ones, and I was the stereotypically outgoing and friendly one.... and we all thought the other was incredibly charming. But now that I've been here for a while, and developed really strong friendships, it's easier to see why these politicians stick with the word "special" over any other more descriptive adjective.

I never once thought of myself as patriotic in any way before I came here, but now I find myself defending America fairly frequently. And being from California puts me in an weird position, as it is often considered by Americans, Californians, and most citizens of the world, to not really be a part of the U.S. But, as much as I hate to admit this, it is. And as furious as I get over *sigh* many, many things in the States.... Arizona's immigration law, the ignorant idiots I lived with in the dorms freshman year, that vomit-inducing horror of an organization known as the Tea Party, or anything that comes out of South Carolina... I still only really fit in America. And no matter how much I love it here, how long I live here, and how much my accent changes, I will always be the American.

So maybe I will cheer for America tonight. We'll probably lose. And then my friends will have yet another reason to tease me. But I don't care... because I'd rather be teased for my accent, Americanisms, and my country's inability to play soccer by these wonderful people than never have met them at all.

Go U.S.A?

I get the news I need on the weather report....

There's a house across the river....

Dear blog,

Two exams down and one to go. The next one is in three weeks, so I feel like maybe I should be allowed to take a little break and not revise at all today. Instead, I went to Tesco, did some laundry, cleaned my room... and I just realized that none of that is really relaxing. Oh well... a bunch of my friends finish on June 5th, so I can start having fun then.

I had my Shakespeare exam on Wednesday and my Devolutionary British Fiction exam yesterday, followed by hot chocolate then Pimm's and Doctor Who at Sarah's house. It's nice being able to watch Doctor Who with someone... some of those episodes can be terrifying! And thank God Sarah watches TV like I do... which is basically yelling at the TV, thinking the people in it can hear you. I think that comes from movie theaters in Berkeley.... what is it about movie theaters there that makes the audience so fun? University students probably...

Recently I've let myself accept the fact that it's okay to be happy in England while still missing home. I get little flashes of places or memories every once in a while and get little pangs of homesickness. Today, I had a flash of REI, the one on San Pablo, and got homesick. Why REI??? I also really miss Berkeley food. Turkish Kitchen, Chaat Cafe, all sushi restaurants, Bicurious Garden (as Eyal calls it), Cheeseboard, Gregoire's, Chaam, basically anything on Shattuck. But for now, I need to appreciate the last month (crap!) I have in England because I know that the second I go back to Berkeley, I'm going to want to come back.

I'm compiling a list of books I want to read this summer. Here's what I have so far:
- 1982, Janine by Alasdair Gray
- Crime and Punishment by Dostoevsky (need to keep up with my law-school-bound sister)
- The Closed Circle by Jonathan Coe (sequel to a book I read for class this year)
- Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen
- Juliet, Naked by Nick Hornby
- Choke by Chuck Palahniuk
- Born to Run by Christopher McDougall (thanks, Clare!)
- Fool by Christopher Moore
- Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace

Okay, I understand that it would be impossible to read all of those this summer.... but I'll still try.

Aaaaand now there is a goose outside my window. I am officially scared out of my mind. They've gotten more vicious since they had babies. I'm gonna go now and try to close the window without getting attacked.... I will leave you with some beautiful artwork by Yas:

Pimm's and Shakespeare...

I haven't written on this for a while for two reasons: One, because I've been stressed with Shakespeare related events and a 5,000 word essay. Two, because I have gained a new audience... some of my WONDERFUL FRIENDS here happened to find this blog and think it's really funny to quote it back to me in what they think is my accent. I've tried to write a new post in the past few days, but I always end up just hearing the words I type spoken in the horrible American accents they do. Yes, horrible... especially you Lawrence, Clare, Alon, and Josh. (There. Now you've been mentioned in my blog.)


Now that Julius Caesar is over and my paper has been handed in (Shit, I can hear their accents now....), I feel like I can breathe again. I don't have much to report though, but I do have some videos to share from Sonnets and Scenes, if you check my photos. I'm uploading them right now. My friend Clare and I (mentioned twice, Clare!) directed three scenes from A Midsummer Night's Dream, and they're pretty damn good if I do say so myself. Unfortunately, two of the scenes are ridiculously long, so I could only record a part of them. I also recorded some of my favorites from the day, including Yas doing a mix of Ophelia and Hamlet speeches, James performing two sonnets, and Josh doing the opening to Richard III. Unfortunately, I didn't get to record everything I liked (Much Ado, I love you), mainly because I had my first Pimm's (delicious English sangria) and wasn't exactly on top form.

I'm also uploading my pictures from Amsterdam, since I completely forgot to do that.

Off to the lyyybreee to do some research.

Should be writing my essay, but instead...

I'll tell you about a game I learned today called Bulldog.

I'll start off by saying that the cast and crew of Caesar have been working from the wee small hours of the morning until late at night trying to get this play together. I woke up at six in the morning today. ME! Needless to say, there are times when we need to go play outside in the sunshine... yes! Sunshine in England! Who knew?

So today, after a little game of Duck-Duck-Goose, someone mentioned Bulldog, to which I replied, "What's that?" The directors then ordered everyone to go on this massive grass field and asked, "Who wants to go first?" I enthusiastically volunteered, and did not take into account the fact that nobody else did. Lesson of the day: don't volunteer for something before you know what you're doing.

I stood in the middle of the field while TEN boys rushed at me and I had to TACKLE one of them in order to get them on my team. Did not go so well. Someone had to join me out of pity.

Also, I'm really out of shape, so I couldn't run very fast. However, I turned out to be really good at grabbing someone and holding on until another stronger teammate could tackle them.

Let's just say, I emailed my mom today asking her how to get grass stains out of my clothes.